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Indian parents asking me to marry a pot!

Indian parents asking me to marry a pot!

I am a 26 year old female living in Mumbai. My Indian parents are asking me to marry a pot! So that my future husband does not die or the marriage is not over. I am an atheist and I vehemently opposed to even the idea of this. But my parents made it about disrespecting them and what not. I know they cannot force me to do this and they will not physically force me either. But this is just absurd and discussions about this everyday in the house is just mentally disturbing. Any advice? Is this even true? I have made up my mind to stand my ground. But any advice on how to make this easier will help.

P.S my mom is a B.com graduate and dad is an engineer. So they are quite well educated.

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50 Comments

  5. Tell them if you have to marry a pot, they’re gonna need to pay for professional photographs that will then be shown to all the guests at the actual wedding. Also threaten to post everything on social media as a joke – “my first husband” and the pot has to be present for your actual kanyadan. Basically whatever they want you to do, you take it a step ahead and make a spectacular joke.

    My cousin did this when they tried to force her to marry a banana tree- her parents did not want to turn into the community joke so they didn’t make her ho through with it.

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  9. As an American reading this I thought pot was a term for some kind of person, or a word in a foreign language, or maybe you were saying your parents wanted you to marry a pothead.

    Nope. And actual kitchen utensil. Can someone here please explain

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  11. Why did your parents conceive and give birth to you such an inauspicious time that you have to ‘cleanse’ yourself like this? Tell them that ‘Vedic science’ actually says that the birth parents need to have sex with a pot in order to cleanse the child and save their future son in law. Then ask a friend to forward you some WhatsApp message saying the same and show it to them. They have to believe it, it’s a WhatsApp forward.

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  14. LMAO! I am gay, my parents have somewhat accepted it. They still want me go through this even though they have accepted that I will not get married. They asked me to do this for the sake of my future partner, regardless of whichever sex.

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  15. Not helpful but I remember my mom got really angry when I said I wished dating sites had a filter to only show mangliks so I could land a wife way out of my league because a lot of idiots were discounting her just based on that nonsense. My dad thought it was funny though.

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  24. Even I go through it in some ways. My parents claim I’m “manglik”. So I guess the belive that it is natural for me to he angry and frustrated. I know this because a pandit came and he asked me if I were manglik and my mother said yes. Then he just said that’s why ur so angry.

    The fact is that I feel that people use these superstitions to justify treatment I have always felt this. If u were to ask my colleagues they would give a completely different view of me. And my parents just use this excuse to treat me in a certain way. And I have been frustrated by this. They mistreated me in a million different ways, completely messed up my schooling and college, and I’m angry because I’m manglik!

    Pretty much a stupid thing to be honest. On one hand you have people eating cow dung and on the other astrology people.

    This is why we can’t have good things in India

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  33. I’m sorry for your troubles and support your independence to decide what course to take. As far as I understand, based upon prior incidences I have heard, it has something to do with some dosh in your kundali. There must be some pundit who has suggested to do this. Simple answer would be to find another good pundit who suggests something altogether different.

    On a funny note, in your title I took “marry a pot” as a reference to someone who you consider as an idiot or along the same lines. It is still funny to realise you meant a actual pot.

    Hope you find a clever solution to your trouble. Good luck.

    Reply

  34. Usually behind these “great ideas”, there is a baba or a priest or a pandit. Basically an asshole behind this.

    Find out who gave the idea. Then you know who your enemy is. Tell your parents that you want to hear this from this guy to get “conviced”. Record on a mobile phone. These people are on a mission to ruin so many lives, we need to stop them.

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  35. Okay, storytime. My best friend’s sister had to go through this. The astrologer said that her first husband will die pretty soon after marriage and to beat around that they could perform a ‘mock’ marriage between a pot and the sister. She’s not that religious, but wanted to get done with it. Well, what do you know, she is very happily married now. I was skeptical back then if the astrologer/pujari had any financial incentive behind it, but as it turns out he’s the family priest and he did not charge a penny. When I told my family all about this, they told it is a pretty common occurrence in the countrysides when the astrologer feels that the first spouse might encounter something grave.

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  36. Lmao. After marrying their daughter to a dog, the Indian parents are ready to marry her to a pot. A fucking pot.

    Ask your boyfriend to start identifying as a pot. Then marry him.

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  38. This is unfortunately quite common in India. As per astrology, people with the Mangal dosh or Mangala dosha in their horoscope are doomed to cause harm to their married partner and this ridiculous act is supposed to be a solution.

    In this country, superstition often trumps education since it is so deep rooted.

    Of course, going out of your way to not upset people isn’t wrong but with parents who are this superstitious, it would often lead to a toxic cycle where they would take you for granted and assume that you would do anything for them, no matter how ridiculous their idea is. Please make your boundaries clear in any relationship, be it with parents or the person you are going to marry and make sure that they are respected. Learn to say no and stand up for yourself. Even though it may upset people, you would stay true to yourself.

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  41. Since nobody’s giving you practical advice here and only making light of the situation, I’ll make an attempt on how to make it “easier”.

    Make it a win win situation for both – they get their beliefs assuaged – and you get what you want. How?

    Agree to it. You have to sit through the ordeal that is all – your parents will take care of the rest. As another comment suggested, bargain for something to your advantage – a foreign trip sounds really good. But you can also go for something else to your liking.

    It’s easy to blame our parents for their “backwardness”, but the society is cruel. If something were to happen (which would have got nothing to do you with your rashi / nakshatra), folks will blame you / your parents. And one needs to be mentally strong else it can easily get to your head. It’s easier to simply agree to marrying a pot then go through the ordeal of constantly hearing negative comments around you.

    TL;DR – Chose your hard – marry a pot even if it goes against your beliefs to silence folks around you OR stay strong and weather constant negativity around you. Both are difficult to do, it’s just a matter of which difficulty YOU can weather.

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  43. I can really relate to “mentally disturbing” as my mother is also super religious and everyday she comes up with new totka so that i could get a job. I just do it without arguing now as its more taxing to argue than to do the deed.

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  44. Pot? As in like matka? Wow, didn’t expect this thing to reach India but here we are. Well people in Japan and many other countries have married dolls, dogs and even a ghost. Your to be husband is a pot. That’s gotta be a news we’ll hear about on TV I suppose.

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  45. Don’t do it. Marry a real person. If something happens to the husband in a few months to years, don’t forget to write here so that we all are forewarned. Happy marriage!

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  47. It is hard to challenge parents’ beliefs. As they grow strong with age.
    The best logic is : it doesn’t harm you marrying a pot but no marrying is harming your parents’ emotions and your relationship with them. So see where the opportunity cost is higher!!!
    Good Luck ♥️

    Reply

  53. I was made to marry and divorce a pot on the same day. Pushed it with my own two hands. The way it fell and cracked is still etched in my brain. It was arranged marriage, even though it was just for seconds…I grew close to it. Miss you, mister pot. I feel like I need a episode on some trauma documentary.

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  55. I don’t think there is any possibile way you can convince your parents.
    I was not able to convince mine for not pressuring me to pursue a particular degree lets us just forget you’ll be able to tell them to step back for this one.

    There mind is built in way than cannot be moulded any longer. Now all you can do is standup for yourself and don’t lose your self respect. Whatever decision you take now you will have to carry on with it for the rest of your life.

    If I were you I would see my face every day with shame keeping in mind I bowed down to such stupid superstitions. So my humble request please don’t do this.

    Being a man myself I guess I can say this for every brother of mine we don’t believe in this. Your future husband might respect you more if you standup for yourself now.

    Though I still can’t process why are even still talking about this. And I thought Made in Heaven really made an impact on us.

    Anyway, Kudos to you.

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  57. At first I thought it was a joke but nope it’s reality.
    Anyways get married to the pot and tell your parents that you want to go to Maldives for honeymoon.

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  59. Stop talking to them altogether whenever the topic comes up. If they start talking to you while you are minding your own business, just leave the house and block their numbers for some time. When you come back just pretend they don’t exist or always have your earphones on. Hopefully they get tired eventually.

    Reply

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